Keeping It Cool

hello - i am in such a good mood today & this makes me quite excited lol .. although i have a lot to do, i am doing everything with a smile .. this is because - lately i have been really down because of everything with my grandpa, & i came to the conclusion that i have been way too stressed out, so i am trying to be a lot calmer .. i mean either way i have so many things to do * & being overly stressed makes it that much harder to concentrate & get things accomplished .. today is already wednesday, the week just flies when you have off on a monday [this past one was president's day] .. if i could pick - i would want mondays off rather than fridays .. & frankly, since this is my blog: what i say goes lol * besides, i absolutely hate sunday nights [they are just miserable] .. it is something how one free day in the week - makes such a difference .. this week, my late class was canceled [for both tuesday & thursday] * which was so nice to be able to get out at a normal time .. & here at Saint John's – we have off all of next week, which is simply amazing .. too bad i have so much to do on my "break" - it is just never ending * but it is good that i do not have to get up & drive all the way to school for a full five days .. however, two out of those days i have to go observe for the whole school day [for my special education class] .. i also have to go to the movie theater & see a movie for my music class - & then do work on it * & for that class i also have to watch a movie at home & write about that as well .. for english, i have to read a whole book by the time we go back to school - & work on some other things [english i love though, so that is not something i dread doing] .. i also want to start studying for midterms because they are right around the corner * & to add to it all - my first certification test for teaching is also approaching, so i want to give that some time too .. so much to do - but so little time to do it * you think i would be used to it by now - because i never seem to get a second .. but i keep telling myself that all my hard work & sleepless nights - will be worth it some day .. so until then i will be trying to make my massive amounts of schoolwork, as well as my busy life - the best that it can possibly be .. so much for down time, but i do have a lot of things that i am thankful for - one of which is my boyfriend michael <3 .. he is so good to me & always helps me with whatever i have going on * & is always right there with me [even if some nights he winds up falling asleep on my couch lol] .. he makes my days so much brighter - & i know it sounds corny, but it is nice to know that he is always patiently there for me .. i really appreciate it (= - but i am also happy because jennifer lopez has recently checked into the hospital because she is preparing to give birth to her & her hubby - marc anthony's twins .. they must be thrilled - i hope the delivery goes smoothly & that they are healthy little babies, because after all that is what really matters .. anyway, i am starting to ramble [i tend to do that when i am hyper] - so i think it is time to end this blog .. ciao *

Feisty Frankie

hello again bloggers, i want this blog to be an update on my little darling puppy frankie <3 .. she is now five months old & learning so much - just the other day she followed me up the stairs .. she stopped in the middle because it is a lot for her little legs, but she did good .. she runs around & is so full of energy * i know it is her personality that she is a ton of work, because she always winds up getting herself into something [like chewing my school books, for example lol] .. but at the end of the day she is so worth it * right now, i am trying to get a lot of my schoolwork done & i took that picture of her sleeping just a few minutes ago .. it is such a breeze when she is sleeping, because i can actually get so much accomplished - without having to watch over her every two seconds .. but when she gets up - she will be so hyper & back to business .. but to be honest, it is cute that she is always up to something - it is like she is two & a half pounds of pure trouble .. she is starting to listen a lot better, & has a pretty good routine for a baby - she trains well & is very smart .. it is just that teething that drives me nuts - frankie bites everything & anything, literally lol .. but she is so cute & if you knew her – you would know that you can not help but love her .. she is very sweet & affectionate - & she makes all my hard days get that much better .. they say dogs relieve stress - & i really believe that they do .. when i watch my two dogs play - it makes me realize that people should have as many good qualities as they do: loyalty, living for the moment [& that is why they are always so happy], they do not hold grudges, they are innocent, they are always so happy to see you, they love unconditionally [as long as you treat them right], they life their lives one day at a time, they are simple, they get excited over the smallest thing, they are appreciative that you love them - & always try & make their loved ones pleased * & so many more wonderful things .. when i watch them it just really makes me think - i wish people, including myself were more like dogs * because the world would be a lot nicer of a place: if everyone was more loyal, simple, & happy .. uh oh – she is awake now, time to wrap this up before she starts chewing on my laptop like she always does haha .. ciao *

Taking It Day By Day

why hello there (= - i know it sounds pathetic but i am excited to finally have the time this week to sit down & write in my blog .. everything this past week has been extremely chaotic, because of my grandfather's death – but i am hanging in there .. i mean after all, when times get tough you can not just run away & hide .. as i think back to my childhood – i remember always wanting to be a "big girl" & to grow up as fast as possible .. although i very much enjoyed being a little kid, i guess having an older sister by three years made me want to be her age .. this was due to the fact that she got to do stuff i was not allowed to do or got things before i was able to [such as a cell phone] .. now, when i see my little baby cousins & my close friend lauren's little brothers - i realize that when you are younger, you have it made .. at least i know i did – my parents did everything for me, & it was so awesome lol .. to be honest, i still have it really good – but when little kids i am close to start to get older, i am going to tell them to enjoy it all while they are still young .. & just take it for what it is - & to try & not rush getting older .. there are many perks to growing up, but i just feel that although i always have a million & one things to do * sometimes it is necessary to sit back & relax - just to take a moment & realize that through all the craziness of daily activities & schedules, life is a blessing .. & if you are constantly bombarded & stressed – you may miss the times that really matter the most .. i am going to end this blog with a saying from a picture my mom has in my house: "Make time for the quiet moments, as God whispers when the world is loud" .. ciao *

Beloved Grandfather

"when it rains, it pours" - & if this is not the story of my life, i do not know what is .. late last night - my grandpa passed away =( .. he was sick for about a month, but in the past he was always a trooper, & eventually recovered the best he could .. i wish that would have happened one last time =/ - my grandpa started wheezing pretty bad one night & started getting panic-stricken to lay down & try to rest, because he could not catch his breath .. we decided that it never could hurt to play things safe, & get him checked – because when a person is of old-age & fragile, everything greatly matters .. so we took him to the hospital where the poor man had to sit in the emergency room for hours, uncomfortably - & doctors came to the conclusion that he had pneumonia, as well as a slightly collapsed lung .. he stayed in the hospital for a few days – they did a procedure on him with a tube to open up the lung that was collapsed, & although that was a big deal – he was starting to make some progress .. the deal was that he was not ready to come home yet [he lived in the side apartment of my house] & that a rehabilitation for three weeks would be the best thing for him .. although we just wanted him back home where he was happy & comfortable – my family decided that the nursing home rehabilitation would be beneficial for my grandpa .. he was easy going & did not mind having to stay there for a short amount of time, besides we visited him every day – so he would not feel alone, or like we forgot him there .. the plan was that they would do activities with him to improve his walking, for example - since he was not able to walk good lately, because of his shortness of breath, his feet became very swollen .. all of a sudden: Thursday afternoon [right after i finished my nail madness blog] my dad called me & told me that grandpa was really not doing well * i was shocked because he was just starting to do better, & everything was happening so fast .. i stayed in school, until my last class ended at four thirty & then rushed straight home to talk to my parents, who came home to meet me .. as soon as i came home, i knew things were bad – just by the look off of my parents’ & sister’s face * i quickly freshened up – my mom fed us & we headed back to the nursing home .. before i went in to see him, my sister grabbed my hand & said that he really looks terrible, & tried to prepare me * little did i know how sick he actually looked .. he was suffering – rapidly, from kidney failure & thus, was literally drowning in his own body fluids .. it was awful – i was crying before i even walked over to him * i could not believe this was happening .. in four hours he had gotten so much worse, & he was now suffering from heart failure as well – because he was panicking that he could not breath .. it kills me to even think about it – it sounded as if he was under water, because he had liquids filling up to the top of his throat & what really bothered us the most was that he was scared, because he knew he was drowning & that i am sure is such a frightening feeling .. we were all around him, crying, praying, & trying to tell him not to be afraid: that we will be there to the very end, & how much we love him .. he was not able to answer – but we knew he heard us, we took turns holding his hand – in which he was squeezing as hard as he could .. it bothers me so much that he wanted to answer - & tell us that he heard everything we were saying * but could not .. we comforted him - & he passed away, after about ten hours of being in such critical condition .. although a death in the family is such a hard thing, i have to admit i kind of feel at peace with most of it – due to the fact that he is no longer suffering or scared .. it has only been one day & i already miss him, it is definitely going to take time to realize that he is not coming home to his apartment * i know he is with me in my heart, thoughts, & prayers - & will always be a part of me .. i am really trying to be strong, but it is so very hard to with situations like these * my grandpa’s wake will be on Sunday, & his funeral mass & burial will be on Monday .. these next few days are going to be just as hard, if not harder – but i will do my best do get through them, as much as i possibly can * thankfully, my family & my boyfriend are all feeling the same way as me, so we can lean on each other .. after all, it is times like these where a family needs to come together as one -- rest in peace grandpa .. ciao *

Nail Madness

so far, this semester has been a very stressful one for me * & this greatly worries me - due to the fact that school is back in session for only four weeks .. yesterday, i had such a terrible day - & i was just mentally exhausted .. i was thinking to myself, this day - is definitely blog material lol .. my classes went okay, i like my professors & everything - it is just that i have so much to do .. i never get a break & i know that college requires a lot of time, dedication, & hard work [which is fine by me - because i have no problem working very hard] * it is just that this month so far, and last month as well, has just been really rough for me .. i feel like i have a black cloud circling my head - following me from place to place =/ .. when i tell people like my mom, she says i should be thankful that i do not have "real" problems, like other people & families do .. i understand that & i absolutely agree - but these problems, are big deals to me .. it bothers me that lately i am so overloaded & do not even know where to begin .. i was dreading getting my nails & toes done, because i do not have the time to sit there this week - & it really gets to me because for all the money i spend every other week, this should be the one time i am just relaxing .. anyway - yesterday, after my last class i went straight to the nail salon & i purposely made an appointment to try & avoid sitting there waiting .. of course my luck, they were "running late" so i waited, patiently - but started to regret coming at the time in which i did .. the best time to go is early in the day, but with my school schedule it is pretty much impossible for me to do that .. anyway, the girl that i always go to & made an appointment with was tied up - & i was asked to go to another woman .. at this point: who am i to be picky? & even if i wanted to - i do not have the time to be .. i go to a nail salon that is very upscale & expensive - i mean after all, you pay for what you get right? .. well not in my case, on this particular day * the girl that did my nails rushed like a manic - it was the fastest fill-in i ever had & she could not be bothered with anyone or anything .. she was so unfriendly, & did not do anything i asked her to do - which really was not much at all .. she hated her job & had such a bad attitude - & at first i felt bad that she was so miserable about her life, but then i realized that she was making me miserable .. for the money they charge - she should not have been acting like this & it really was not right * however, i put up with it until i could not take anymore .. i always have "permanent french" on my nails - but i decided to get something different done [now i realize, this was a very big mistake] .. she literally redid my nails three times - because she kept messing them up * never in my life have i heard or experienced such a thing .. it was so bad that i was embarrassed by the way she acted, & i am not exactly a pushover either * my blood started boiling .. then, to show me she was mad she nastily took the polish off of one whole hand * i did not ask her to do that - & i was fuming that she did, because all that was messed up was one nail on that hand .. she did not ask me anything, cut them the length she wanted to & did whatever she pleased .. it got really bad when she dropped my hand down roughly on purpose, & two nails smudged together - i did not want to flip out but i was biting my tongue not to .. i choose to get a light white basecoat & a black line as my french [instead of white], which was such a bad idea * because she went so fast painting them that the black smeared all over the white .. she told me that they were fine, multi-colored mind you * which was it for me .. i let her have it [in a respectful & mature manner] & told her that they were not fine & that i wanted her to fix them, because if she was not rushing to get done the way she was from the very beginning, none of this would have happened .. after the third time of her messing up - huffing & puffing about it, i told her i wanted someone else to do the hand she did not do .. thankfully - another girl did it to match the other hand, but it was just a really terrible situation .. i just wanted to get out of there & be done with it - but i had already paid for my pedicure * & the girls they have doing them are really sweet .. so i decided to go through with it - however, i was in there for ten minutes short of three hours .. could you imagine? - i was so mad that i could have cried about it * because i was so frustrated & annoyed .. while driving home: i was thinking about how much i was not looking forward to going home to eat dinner, shower, & do as much work as i could for the night .. what i would have done to just take a shower & go to sleep for the night, i could not even begin to tell you .. i know that it might not seem like a big deal to some of you, but my patience was non-existent at the end of the night * & i just felt so crappy .. i am annoyed that i can not go back there - because even though the rest of the girls there do a great job, she is now there & i never want to see her again [she should consider herself lucky lol] .. i am feeling better today, still have a lot of work to do * but i am in a much better mood .. this is because at least today, i do not have to deal with aggraviation from incompetent people, such as the lovely lady i encountered yesterday .. well, i am glad i have this blog to vent to - but i must be going now, because i have my education class starting in ten minutes .. ciao *

Lazy Saturday

today, today i am not getting anything accomplished =/ .. i am so not in the mood to do any schoolwork, or clean my room up - & i really should have been doing things all day because tomorrow morning my boyfriend has a basketball game * & then we have plans to go to our friend's house for a superbowl party =) .. i mean i will do some things in a few, but i know i will not get much done - because i just can not get started today .. it definitely is just a lazy saturday for me - now i am thinking how much i actually have to do, lovely .. & i really want to see the movie "The Bucket List" - last weekend my boyfriend & i saw "27 Dresses" [which was so good - i loved it] * but anyway: i wish i did not always have so much to do .. it stinks because all week i am bombarded with schoolwork from all my classes, & when the weekend finally rolls around - i wish i could just put schoolwork aside & just worry about going out & having a good time .. but as you get older - there becomes more stuff to get done, in shorter amounts of time * & you just have to do it - & get it done .. once i start my homework - for example, i do a really good job & i try hard * but to get myself started on doing it - is another story .. i hate that i forever wait until sunday night to get started on my work, because although i work good under pressure it is no good to start the week off like that [stressed, staying up all night to get everything done] .. well writing this blog has made me realize that i should go get some things accomplished - instead of putting them off & worrying about them tomorrow .. i really hope the giants win tomorrow - that would be awesome if a new york team wins the superbowl =) * but i guess we will just have to wait & see - while keeping our fingers crossed .. ciao *