After All, Life Is a Precious Gift

i found this quote today while going through my high school yearbook - & i feel that it successfully serves as a way of incorporating the feelings associated with the very stressful semester i have had [& thankfully one that is almost over] .. "do not worry about the past, for it is gone - do not worry about the future, for it has not yet come * try to make each & every one of your days as beautiful as they can be"

As My Freshman Year of College Comes To an End - My Journey on Developing As a Writer, Approaches a Brief Intermission...

hello - i feel that the paper that i wrote on the end of this semester: for my english class will successfully serve as a good way to complete my blogs .. until next time, ciao for now *

When I began my English 1000C class entitled “Creative Nonfiction”, I did not know what to expect. I very much hoped that it would be an easy conversion into this new world of learning and writing. As the days and weeks passed, I began to awaken myself to a different side of my writing, one that I had never dealt with before. As classes continued, I realized that my classmates and I were experiencing a genre that was indeed in a category of its own. Keeping in mind that I was primarily an academic writer (due to the fact that of late, I have not had the time to write on my own as I have done in the past), our Blog assignments permitted me to consistently write on a much greater level - one that allowed mass amounts of creativity into the assignments that I was producing. This aspect of my work was now allowing for the true essence of writing - to not only be present, but to easily flow.
This particular class has taught me many valuable lessons. Through this class - I have experienced the benefit of working hard and accomplishing rewarding grades for the time that I have put in. I have also become better-rounded, since I am now more tolerant of positive and negative feedback on my work. I have experienced first hand that just because a paper has some corrections on it - is not an indication that it is not a successful piece of work; but instead like everything in life, to be well aware that there is always room for improvement. I have also learned that not every professor is going to find everything a student (who for the most part - writes well) produces, to be a great piece of work. Although this class was sometimes discouraging; in the end I have become more confident in my writing abilities, since I now know what exactly it is I am capable of. I am very pleased with the fact that I am currently more open to different kinds of artistic writing, as well as how I grew to love the genre of Creative Nonfiction (one that I did not even know existed before this past semester). Learning to incorporate an artistic way into what I have always known writing to be, opened many new doors for me - especially when dealing with our Blogs (which as I have stated in the beginning of the semester, certainly intend to keep and maintain). Our Blogs being part of our grades, as well as all of the other assignments this class has offered - drastically differ from any other class I have been a part of; yet still manage to stand out to me in a very positive way. Simultaneously, as I began my Blog I was unaware that I was also beginning to look past academic writing, and the limitations associated with it. As I read certain works of literature and novels in the past, I was then forced to spit back information regarding what I have read and inferred on the topics assigned.
As I think back to my last semester’s English class - one that regarded “Literature in a Global Context”, it portrays the beauty of the English subject area because of its ability to be diversified. When dealing with the professor that some of my classmates in my Creative Nonfiction course also had, I think back to how the young professor conducted our classes; students reading the works (some of the novels were interesting - however some were horribly boring), having to take notes on what we went over, and then respond with the correct answers in order to show her that we had completed and understood the work. These classes in particular are tolerable; but if given the choice, not ideal for me as a student. I feel as if they are more juvenile, and remind me as if I were back in high school. The English class that I am in now however, truly opened up a new world of writing to us; one in which I do not think I can ever shy away from.
As I have mentioned in a number of personal works I have done this semester (my random Blog incorporated), writing should not entirely be based around academics alone; but aimed more towards being a part of the writer’s soul. This way, each work can and will include the true meaning of what it is to be an educated, inspired, dedicated individual - regardless of what the capabilities or talent one has. Since I had no way of avoiding taking English 1100 so early in my college career (due to the schedules of incoming freshman being made up for us) I now know that it would have been more beneficial to take that class later on. If it were possible and I had an insight on what to expect from each class and why - I definitely would have chose to take English 1000C first, before I took the English class I was enrolled in last semester. Although I received an A- as my final grade for that English course - I feel it would have been much more useful to take it second; since it did not promote creativity, but instead restrictions involved with writing that I was accustomed to.
As I reflect on this past semester more in depth and base my focus on English 1000C; I currently realize the significance of thesis papers that permit freedom of the art, an amazing aspect of writing. To try and categorize myself as a writer, I would have to state that the best of my writing originates from a place deep within me, and as long as I have some slight guidelines - the best pieces of work are produced this way. I believe that successful writing takes time, patience, and courage. In addition, I feel that it is much more significant to write about how one feels regarding a particular topic (one reason is because it promotes individuality), rather than answering questions that do not interest or pertain to that person, just so one can obtain a good grade. On a personal note, my strengths lay in the experiences that I have already overcome and reside deep within my soul. My weaknesses are deeply intertwined with my own procrastination and more importantly, my lack of time management skills. Overall, I believe that this course and even this paper, serve as a great way in seeing how much I have grown as a writer; as well as how much I have learned about myself along the way - strengths and weaknesses included. I strongly believe that every assignment within this class had a lesson within itself; lessons that added up to the success of the students, as well as the course’s content and goals. I am very grateful in having been able to be a part of this class; a class that had a professor that was always so far ahead of the game, without us even knowing the lessons his students would extract from his class alone.

Reflecting On This Past Semester

no more teachers, no more books, no more teacher's dirty looks - just because i am in college now does not mean that i am not excited for the end of the school year approaching (= .. in my case - the end of this semester could not come fast enough * i can barely sit still anymore when it comes to almost being done with my first year of college .. although it is only one year completed out of many - it is still such an accomplishment .. it is the start of my journey, one that will continue on for the rest of my future years .. since this is the busiest time of the whole semester - i am still very stressed & i seriously have about ten thousand assignments to complete by the end of this week =/ .. i will finish off this term working my butt off, but what else is new? .. even though i am finishing up the right way - i feel relieved in a sense, that school is almost done which means that i can get back on track * without being so tired & stressed out all the time .. i also feel successful, because i know that i did the best that i could - dealing with the situation .. in addition, i feel proud to know that i dealt with all the work & stress that i have had so much of - & i overcame it [by always attending class & being early to my classes] .. what i am trying to say is that: although i had so much to be done & have not had a second to breath or relax - i am proud of myself that i have came this far .. now that i look back on this past semester & all the hours i have put in - i realize that i would not want to go back & do it all over again, but i am glad that i accomplished what i did .. i did not give up - although many times i lost faith in myself * i stayed with my dedication & hard work, & i am quite happy that i did .. for instance, my theology class is close to impossible - all of my friends withdrew from the class * but not me .. i stuck it out - i told myself that i can do it & i did .. & although the professor is such a hard grader & not fair to us, i did it for me * i did it to prove to myself that i can do it .. i came such a long, hard way & like i said, i am very glad that i did .. i am also happy that i am aware of the lessons i have learned so early in my college career - because they will add to my success in the years ahead .. ciao *

Very Much In Need Of A Summer Vacation

hello loves (= - i am more than sure that i am ahead on my blogs, but i miss doing them so i do not care that i will have more than we have to .. it is nice to actually enjoy an aspect of my work, something i am not used to lately lol .. i think on this lovely sunday afternoon - i will make this an update blog .. where should we start? - school has been insane, the busiest & most stressed out i have ever been in my whole life .. to make matters worse - my school laptop blew up on me [nothing i did wrong however, my motherboard crashed so it has been sent out for service resulting in a lot more work for me - redoing things that i have already done .. like i have time for that], i am in a "group project" for my theology class that goes alphabetically - too bad i do not have a group because the whole class withdrew from the class because it is pure torture - therefore, i am in it all by myself [ten minute presentation & all] .. honestly, if i make it out of this semester without having a nervous breakdown - it will be a miracle lol .. on a happier note: my little puppy frankie is now seven months old, & getting cuter & cuter by the day .. problem is, along with this cuteness comes her gaining more & more knowledge of how to be bad - & then how to get away with it, by way of using her cute personality to her advantage .. she really is a handful - i can not wait until it gets nicer out [& actually stays] so i can walk her more outside .. friday was two years ago that my boyfriend & i had our first date - adorable, i know lol * & friday was also eleven months that we have been back together <33 .. this past week was my sister's 22nd birthday, as well as my boyfriend - mike's brothers' 18th birthday - so i have been extra busy shopping, going out to eat, & eating cake lol .. next month is my 19th birthday - & my boyfriend's birthday is ten days before mine .. this will be our 3rd birthdays together - my 17th, 18th, & 19th * & his 18th, 19th, & 20th (= .. right around our birthdays will also be our one year - & then the end of school * which is very exciting .. recently i took my first certification exam for teaching - in order to start my process of getting certified by new york state * the test was very long, but as always - i tried my best .. now i am just keeping my fingers crossed that i passed lol - but as i have said, i can not wait for this semester to be over .. i have been working my butt off & still have so much left to do .. i try so hard & most of the time i feel like i am not getting as far as i want to - i like mostly all of my professors [as people], so i will be sad to not have them anymore: but hopefully in the fall semester my work load will be easier for me to keep up with .. in the midst of everything, i have also been putting in my "service learning hours" of observing classrooms & keeping logs on what i see .. it is hard to run to school early, have long days, & then have to go & be alert enough to observe – but i do the best i can .. if i got paid for every paper i wrote this semester, it seems like i would be a millionaire haha .. but, i want to take one less class than i am in now - because i can not go through another semester like this one anytime soon * so i decided to do a summer course, which will get in the way of my summer but i am sacrificing .. it will be one class for two straight hours - four days a week * i have spoken to many people about this - & so far i am the only freshman i know taking summer courses .. my advisor even said "i admire your dedication" - which was nice to hear .. one bad thing is waking up early - the one time i could sleep in & try to catch up on the sleep i have been missing out on .. since i live far from school - the drive will be annoying * but the good thing is that parking will be a breeze .. although we will move through the material fast [since it is only a five week course] - in the end, i will be gaining three more credits & it is ones that count toward my concentration in early childhood education .. well, i pretty much updated everything that has been happening in my crazy life * & now, it is time to go work on my power point presentation for the group that contains me, myself, & i - joy .. back to school tomorrow - uggh, i hate sunday nights & monday mornings =/ .. ciao *

21 - A Must See Movie

hello (= - this past weekend my boyfriend & i saw the film 21 in the movie theater .. according to some reports: "all George Clooney & Jodie Foster had to do was beat a deck of cards – make that, a surprisingly resilient deck of cards" .. the movie reigned again as the number one movie at the weekend box office * this results in topping Clooney's new film: Leatherheads, & Foster's new one: Nim's Island .. this card counting drama pulled in another $15.1 million – bringing its two week-total to $45.5 million .. talk about a nice amount of money lol - but what was really interesting to me was that 21 is indeed a fact-based story, regarding six M.I.T. students who were trained to become experts in card counting * & subsequently took Vegas casinos for large amounts of money .. the film 21 is about a shy, but brilliant M.I.T. student [Jim Sturgess] who needed to find a way to come up with the money to pay his school tuition - of three hundred thousand dollars in order to be able to go to Harvard Med * a school he always dreamt of attending .. he found the answer through cards - when he recruited to join a group of students that head to Vegas on the weekends, armed with fake identities, & the ability to know how to turn the odds of blackjack in their favor .. along with having a math professor that was a statistics genius leading the way, they cracked many codes .. by counting cards & employing an intricate system of signals – the team mastered the casinos big time * seduced by the money, the Vegas lifestyle, as well as Ben's teammate that he was very much attracted to [Kate Bosworth] – Ben begins to push the limits & take even more chances .. although counting cards is not legal & the stakes are very high – the challenge becomes not only keeping the numbers straight, but staying one step ahead of the casino's menacing enforcer [Laurence Fishburne] whom is very much onto them – especially Jim .. i do not want to give away any endings, but i very much recommend to whoever is reading this: to go see it as soon as possible .. it was a film that kept the audience on the edge of their seats – from the beginning to the very end .. i love movies that catch & keep my attention - & if you do too, then this film is a must see (= .. ciao *

First Comes Crazy In Love - Then Comes Marriage

Beyoncé Knowles & Jay-Z: as many say a match made in musical heaven, tied the knot in New York on friday .. this was three days after people were gossiping about the two taking out a marriage license, as well as hours after what "appeared" to be the signs of lavish [& possibly nuptial] party preparations .. this was said to have compelled dozens of reporters & photographs to gather outside of Jay-Z's Tribeca loft .. a source at the scene told E! News: "yes, it's a wedding" – however, it was unclear whether or not the exchange of vows took place earlier at another location or at the penthouse apartment .. Amy Vongpitaka [owner of Thailand-based Amy's Orchids] confirmed to E! News that she shipped flowers for Beyoncé & Jay-Z's wedding .. she is quoted by saying: "the designer called us a week ago, and we had to move quickly; we used a total of two hundred workers to cut and process one hundred thousand dendrobium white orchids, & then we hand chose the best sixty thousand" .. although there has been no official confirmation from the couple yet, all signs point toward holy secret matrimony * Beyoncé's publicist said he had "no comment" on the matter .. the intimate affair was attended by about two dozen friends & family members; among those present were the parents of the bridge & groom, Knowles' younger sister, former Destiny's Child – Kelly Rowland & Michelle Williams, along with Gwyneth Paltrow .. what i found interesting was that George Clooney happened to be photographed at the scene [in a natty suit], however it turns out that he was taping "Charlie Rose" - his timing was just impeccable haha .. Beyoncé is 26 years old & Jay-Z is 38, whom have been together for six years .. they had a party at his apartment – with hip hop music blasting until well after four in the morning * & even at that time, was said to have no sign of the party slowing down .. earlier in the day: crates of cream-colored orchids & over sized silver candelabras were spotted being delivered to the hip-hop superstar's penthouse * in addition, a white tent was placed on top the building - presumably to keep out raindrops [& perhaps telephoto lenses] .. according to various media reports, the roman numeral IV was also prevalent throughout the party; in honor not only of the wedding month & day [4.4.08] but because the number holds special significance for the couple * each of whom were born on the fourth of the month .. Beyoncé's birthday is the forth of september & the forth of december is Jay-Z's [whose birth name is Shawn Carter] .. In Touch Weekly reports that the duo – whom have matching IV tattoos on their ring fingers, are planning a second ceremony in France on may forth .. unfortunately they can not have a honeymoon yet – due to the fact that the rapper is on the verge of signing a whopping one hundred & fifty million dollar music deal with Live Nation - & thus, has concerts scheduled for the weekend [saturday he has one in North Carolina & sunday one in Washington D.C.] .. well, i was very pleased to hear this news – & besides, they are so cute together lol .. it is nice that we never hear bad things being spoken about the two celebs & that they keep their reputations clean, along with their relationship being classy & quiet .. it is especially nice that they have decided to spend the rest of their lives together * after all, they have been together for quite some time now & they always look very happy together, so good for them (= .. ciao *

A Nice Quote To Live By

"live everyday not thinking 'what if this happens' or 'what if that happens' - because you will start to miss out on what is happening now, & all the good that comes with it .. what is meant to be for sure will find it's way - it is a way of life, so live it with love & happiness .. & for sure, everything will turn out the way you expect it"

Hoping To Appeal To Her Fans - In Her Court Case

hello - i have decided to make this blog about some celebrity drama that has been occurring of late .. this particular entry will be about "Remy Ma" - the twenty six year old Grammy-nominated rapper, whom is hoping that she appeals to fans in her court case .. as i discovered with help from the Associated Press: Remy Ma hopes that her fan base will count in the courtroom - when she is being sentenced for shooting a woman outside a nightclub in Manhattan's Chelsea neighborhood on July 14, 2007 .. the performer hopes that her influence will count as she faces sentencing * a statement posted on Remy Ma's Myspace page asks fans & visitors to write letters about how the rapper & her music has "positively affected you, influenced you, or inspired you...in hopes that the judge will be lenient" [it also provided a special e-mail address for someone inclined to do so] .. Remy Ma, is being held without bail until her sentencing [which is set for April 23, 2008] & she faces up to twenty five years in prison .. the young performer - whose birth name is Remy Smith, was convicted this past Thursday of assault, weapon possession, & attempted coercion * her lawyer has stated that the rapper plans to appeal .. the defense acknowledged that Remy fired a shot toward a friend that she suspected of stealing three thousand dollars - but said that the gun went off accidentally .. prosecutors stated that Remy Ma acted deliberately by getting out the gun, loading it & cocking it - as she got into a car with the friend who was shot in the abdomen .. the shooting was said to have followed a party * Remy was nominated for a Grammy as part of the Terror Squad, for the 2004 hit "Lean Back" & she also earned the "Best Female Hip Hop" award at the 2005 Black Entertainment Television [BET] Awards .. she also recorded with "Busta Rhymes", as well as with Eminem .. i found this whole story extremely interesting - due to the fact that she expects her fans to help her out in her time of need, over an act that she willingly committed .. this crime that Remy Ma committed is a terrible example to set, especially when dealing with today's young teens .. in addition, i was shocked to find out that it was over a measly three thousand dollars – which is not a lot of money, especially for a celebrity .. it would be bad enough if it was over a big sum of money - but three thousand dollars is nothing .. i think the entire situation is just a big mess - & that she should have not done what she did * regardless of what it was over .. there is no reason why someone has to shoot another person, especially over something so ridiculous .. in the end, we will see how many years she gets after her sentencing - & maybe one day: she can write a song about shooting someone over money, & having to go jail for many years because of it .. ciao *

Spring Has Sprung

hello, due to the fact that yesterday was Easter - Happy Easter everyone! * tomorrow we go back to lovely school .. yesterday i had a really nice day, i just love Easter & thursday was the first day of Spring [which is amazing] .. on thursday we had off from school - so i went to my sister's elementary school & spent the whole day observing a special education classroom * the children were so adorable, & i saw so many things .. i had a lot of fun - i have to go back another day [one day soon] which will also be from eight to three * although it took up a lot of my day i really did enjoy going .. i got all dressed up & it was the first of many learning experiences for me .. i can not wait to start student teaching in a few years - instead of just observing, but since i have my hands full with school this semester i am just handling what i have now .. there is no need to rush my college years, after all aren't they supposed to be the best days of our lives? .. i spoke to one of my mother's friends the other day, who is a nurse & she asked me about school .. i told her how busy i have been of late & she said to enjoy every minute of it, because she wishes she can go back to her hectic college days .. even though she went to school for years, she still would love to go back .. it really made me think - & although i have many things to finish for school, along with the papers that never seem to stop coming: i should start enjoying it more & being less stressed out .. i will get it all done, & one sweet day all my hard work will pay off .. i just wish that day was closer because i can not wait to become a teacher * but until then i have many things to occupy myself with .. besides, it will be here before i know it .. on another note, my birthday is not too far away * & i just adore the Spring time .. my parents are getting a ton of work done in my backyard - between a pool & pavers & it is making me want the nice weather to come & stay, that much more .. i am so excited that school is kind of close to finishing up - i can not believe i am close to completing my first year of college already .. it has been rough at times - but it is all worth it * since i am feeling productive, i am going to go get some papers done (= .. ciao *

One Line Story

"i finally learned what life is all about - hanging on when your heart has had enough, & giving more when you want to give up"

Lohan - Finally Picking Up The Pieces

as many sources recently reveal: Lindsay Lohan is trying her best to remain sober from alcohol, as well as from drugs .. although the celebrity had to go to rehab about six months ago * i give her a lot of credit for not only getting her serious problems under control, but also trying her best to avoid potential problems related to her past history - when dealing with substance abuse .. i know Lohan tainted her image to the public by being known as a huge "party girl", but as i have read from a lot of different sources, she has even went as far as dumping her friends - that were considered to be a bad influence on her .. i think this is a great idea because this way, the friends that she used to do heavy drinking & drugs with will not be around her - constantly tempting or persuading her in any which way * until she becomes strong enough to hit up the clubs with them again .. Lohan's goal is to "stay straight" & i really hope she accomplishes this - for a few reasons .. this is to due to the fact that this would better her own life & eventually her reputation, but also because a lot of young girls look up to her [& other celebrity girls as well] & if she cleans herself up: she not only portrays the image that she realized that she headed down a bad path & fixed it [that it is never too late to try & rectify issues], but she would also imply that there becomes a point in most people's lives that you need to grow up, & prioritize what is important with what is not .. if you live life as if it is one huge party until you are forty years old, odds are you will miss out on a lot – such as getting married or having a family .. i know that this life is not for everyone, & i absolutely stand behind the fact that life is too short & thus - you should make the best of it & that is why myself, along with many teens my age love to have enjoyment in our lives by partying on the weekends & being stress-free .. however - there definitely needs to be consistency, as well as maturity to know when things are getting out of hand or if a bad situation is arising .. if everything is done moderately, & not all or nothing – it is better than being or doing too much or too little of something .. i mean, it is one thing to go out & have a good time - but people that develop problems [such as Lohan] need to tone that life down, & take charge of their lives in order to get them back to where they should be .. i am always down for a good time, but i think that you should not live your life based all around partying – but instead when you are young, let it be an aspect of your life without it being the whole thing .. after all, my English class for example – are in college to grow: educationally, emotionally, & maturity wise * & i feel that if we stay on top of ourselves to become well-rounded, stable, responsible individuals - there is no harm in having a good time: as long as you make good choices & keep a good head on your shoulders, by not just living for the moment .. ciao *

As Close As Sisters

hello (= - while i was online earlier i came across this quote: "don't pity the girl with one true friend, envy her .. pity the girl with just a thousand acquaintances" * when i read this it very much made me realize that this is true when it comes to everyday life .. although i have a number of close friends - it made me think that my bond with one of them is in my opinion, worth so much more than ten friends that you can not count on .. when i read this quote the first person that came to my mind was one of my best friends, kristen * she is a year younger than me & we have so much in common .. from day one, we related to each other so easily & always seem to go through the same things .. although we are both busy with our hectic lives - i can always count on her for anything .. whether it be: to go shopping or get our nails done together, vent to her when something is bothering me, ask her advice on something, or if i just need her support with something * she is forever there for me .. i consider her my little sister - because not only do people say we resemble each other, but it is like we are family .. she is always so real & loyal * & i know that the road of life may sometimes get bumpy - but when you have friends like kristen, they truly help hold you up & allow you to pull through that much easier .. i am very grateful to have met kristen years ago, as well as have her in my life .. she looks up to me & although she is younger than me - i too look up to her .. kristen is one of the kindest & sweetest people you can ever meet in your life * & qualities like those are very admirable .. kristen always has my back - like i have hers & together we are the true definition of loyalty within a friendship .. i love my little sis <3 & i know that we will always be the best of friends - even when we are old & gray lol (= .. ciao *

Announcing Her Pregnancy - Blog Style

hello darlings (= - what a busy weekend i had * but it was a nice one .. it is after one in the morning & i am cramming to get as much work done as i can, before i fall asleep * this week is going to be another busy one .. considering it is still midterm week for me - along with another education seminar to attend, & papers that need to get done * it definitely will be chaotic .. however, i am taking it day by day - & trying my best .. today my boyfriend had a basketball game - he plays on so many different teams it is hard to keep track * but today he scored the winning free throw * among many other baskets .. he always makes me proud (= lol - but today me & him just relaxed .. we chilled at his house * had an early sunday dinner with his family & then we just took it easy .. when he was watching hockey with his brothers, i did schoolwork - i got a nice amount accomplished today, but still have a lot to do .. anyway, upon reading up on a few things - i found it interesting the way in which Lisa Marie Presley announced her pregnancy [with her third child] * due to the fact that she did it through a myspace blog .. this definitely relates to my blog, because what a way to confirm accusations - pretty cool though lol .. the singer broke the news on her blog writing, "I am in fact pregnant" on march the eighth .. according to BETA Access Hollywood, Presley is quoted saying: "After being the target all week of slanderous & degrading stories, horribly manipulated pictures & articles in the media, I have had to show my cards & announce under the gun & under vicious personal attack." * although Lisa Marie Presley has an eighteen & fifteen year old already [with her ex-husband], this baby is the first one with her husband of two years - Michael Lockwood .. maybe now some of the rumors can stop – hopefully the sour ones * however, either way people will talk about celebrities .. i guess that is the price they must pay for being famous .. either way, having a baby is great news – even if you confirm it through a blog (= .. ciao *

On Top Of My Game

why hello there (= - it is a saturday afternoon & it is pouring outside .. to be honest, i do like the rain sometimes * this is because it is really cozy .. i am laying on my bed - listening to music & the rain coming down outside .. i just got out of the shower a little while ago & stupid me, i straighten my hair in this mess outside .. oh well, i will just have to put a hood or hat on tonight * i just hate the rain to: drive in, when i have somewhere to be [because it just messes it up sometimes], & lastly because it messes up my hair =/ lol .. so, i am obsessed with usher's new song * it is just so catchy - definitely going to be hot to drive to when it gets a little warmer out (= .. but i have been doing a lot of self reflection lately - & i realize that so many people take advantage of other people & it is not right .. when you have something good - you have to realize what you have & appreciate it .. nobody likes to feel unappreciated - & i feel that it is really important to make sure the people you care about know how you feel & what they mean to you .. unspoken words can damage a relationship - & i am well aware of my actions, as well as to make sure i do not intentionally hurt people's feelings .. i hate when people are cocky, or do not care if they hurt your feelings * i am not like that, it is just not the way i am & i am glad about that .. i may say something innocently - but if it hurts your feelings, i will feel bad .. i just loathe when people do not care about how others feel, especially on touchy topics .. uggh, but as i was saying before you should really not take people for granted, i know i do not .. i believe that if you stay on top of yourself & over analyze things you say & do, it will make you more aware of how you present yourself & make others feel .. everyone can become a better person, if they truly want to - & if everyone cared a little more, this world would be a lot nicer of a place .. ciao *

Goodbye Spring Break =/

hello - it is sunday afternoon & i am sitting here quite upset * this is due to the fact that spring break is already over .. the week just flew & i do not want to go back to school yet, uggh - this stinks * i am also thinking about taking a course or two over the summer .. yeah i know, i have a lot of devotion - just not enough time * one thing i was really excited about was that the friday before break we were off because of a snow day (= that was so awesome .. i did not go outside & play in it - but i was laying on my couch in the family room with hot chocolate & the fire place on * it was so relaxing .. i woke up early thinking there would be school, but then i saw that i had received a text message from Saint John's saying that school was closed * i then started getting texts & calls from a few of my friends making sure i knew [thanks guys lol] - & i stayed up watching all the early talk shows that i never get to see because i am either sleeping, getting ready for school, or at school - so that was nice .. frankie the other day lost her first tooth - i noticed her gum was a little black & blued * & then i saw that her tooth was missing .. she is just too adorable, & almost six months old now * she is still only two & a half pounds – she is just tiny, & eats so much but does not gain weight .. she is just extremely petite, but she is growing up pretty fast .. anywho, like i was saying - tomorrow is back to school & i am so not feeling it lol .. we will have stressful midterm reviews & then lovely midterms * which means i have to study my butt off because i work hard all semester & i do not want to mess up now, not after everything i went through .. i wish it was closer to the end of the semester - not that i want to rush my life away, but just because school is just so much this term * & i just want - kind of need, a longer break to find myself again & not be so overwhelmed .. i hate not having a life all week with school - i mean i am always with my boyfriend but by me having to do a lot of schoolwork really holds us back until the weekend =/ .. i can not believe Easter is so early this year, i love it - the colors & most importantly the upcoming weather * Easter means spring is coming (= .. ahh i can not wait for the nice weather & the summer - the beach is love, & swimming & tanning is just the best .. i got a lot accomplished this break * & got to relax & just chill with my friends & also my family, but i still have so much more to do .. i have a wake to go to tonight, for my boyfriend's cousin's stepfather & i want to finish cleaning my room .. it is not bad, but not up to my standards - i just need more time in the day to do what i have to do * but - let me stop writing about everything & start finishing what i need to get done .. joy, Easter break please come soon! =/ .. ciao *

Keeping It Cool

hello - i am in such a good mood today & this makes me quite excited lol .. although i have a lot to do, i am doing everything with a smile .. this is because - lately i have been really down because of everything with my grandpa, & i came to the conclusion that i have been way too stressed out, so i am trying to be a lot calmer .. i mean either way i have so many things to do * & being overly stressed makes it that much harder to concentrate & get things accomplished .. today is already wednesday, the week just flies when you have off on a monday [this past one was president's day] .. if i could pick - i would want mondays off rather than fridays .. & frankly, since this is my blog: what i say goes lol * besides, i absolutely hate sunday nights [they are just miserable] .. it is something how one free day in the week - makes such a difference .. this week, my late class was canceled [for both tuesday & thursday] * which was so nice to be able to get out at a normal time .. & here at Saint John's – we have off all of next week, which is simply amazing .. too bad i have so much to do on my "break" - it is just never ending * but it is good that i do not have to get up & drive all the way to school for a full five days .. however, two out of those days i have to go observe for the whole school day [for my special education class] .. i also have to go to the movie theater & see a movie for my music class - & then do work on it * & for that class i also have to watch a movie at home & write about that as well .. for english, i have to read a whole book by the time we go back to school - & work on some other things [english i love though, so that is not something i dread doing] .. i also want to start studying for midterms because they are right around the corner * & to add to it all - my first certification test for teaching is also approaching, so i want to give that some time too .. so much to do - but so little time to do it * you think i would be used to it by now - because i never seem to get a second .. but i keep telling myself that all my hard work & sleepless nights - will be worth it some day .. so until then i will be trying to make my massive amounts of schoolwork, as well as my busy life - the best that it can possibly be .. so much for down time, but i do have a lot of things that i am thankful for - one of which is my boyfriend michael <3 .. he is so good to me & always helps me with whatever i have going on * & is always right there with me [even if some nights he winds up falling asleep on my couch lol] .. he makes my days so much brighter - & i know it sounds corny, but it is nice to know that he is always patiently there for me .. i really appreciate it (= - but i am also happy because jennifer lopez has recently checked into the hospital because she is preparing to give birth to her & her hubby - marc anthony's twins .. they must be thrilled - i hope the delivery goes smoothly & that they are healthy little babies, because after all that is what really matters .. anyway, i am starting to ramble [i tend to do that when i am hyper] - so i think it is time to end this blog .. ciao *

Feisty Frankie

hello again bloggers, i want this blog to be an update on my little darling puppy frankie <3 .. she is now five months old & learning so much - just the other day she followed me up the stairs .. she stopped in the middle because it is a lot for her little legs, but she did good .. she runs around & is so full of energy * i know it is her personality that she is a ton of work, because she always winds up getting herself into something [like chewing my school books, for example lol] .. but at the end of the day she is so worth it * right now, i am trying to get a lot of my schoolwork done & i took that picture of her sleeping just a few minutes ago .. it is such a breeze when she is sleeping, because i can actually get so much accomplished - without having to watch over her every two seconds .. but when she gets up - she will be so hyper & back to business .. but to be honest, it is cute that she is always up to something - it is like she is two & a half pounds of pure trouble .. she is starting to listen a lot better, & has a pretty good routine for a baby - she trains well & is very smart .. it is just that teething that drives me nuts - frankie bites everything & anything, literally lol .. but she is so cute & if you knew her – you would know that you can not help but love her .. she is very sweet & affectionate - & she makes all my hard days get that much better .. they say dogs relieve stress - & i really believe that they do .. when i watch my two dogs play - it makes me realize that people should have as many good qualities as they do: loyalty, living for the moment [& that is why they are always so happy], they do not hold grudges, they are innocent, they are always so happy to see you, they love unconditionally [as long as you treat them right], they life their lives one day at a time, they are simple, they get excited over the smallest thing, they are appreciative that you love them - & always try & make their loved ones pleased * & so many more wonderful things .. when i watch them it just really makes me think - i wish people, including myself were more like dogs * because the world would be a lot nicer of a place: if everyone was more loyal, simple, & happy .. uh oh – she is awake now, time to wrap this up before she starts chewing on my laptop like she always does haha .. ciao *

Taking It Day By Day

why hello there (= - i know it sounds pathetic but i am excited to finally have the time this week to sit down & write in my blog .. everything this past week has been extremely chaotic, because of my grandfather's death – but i am hanging in there .. i mean after all, when times get tough you can not just run away & hide .. as i think back to my childhood – i remember always wanting to be a "big girl" & to grow up as fast as possible .. although i very much enjoyed being a little kid, i guess having an older sister by three years made me want to be her age .. this was due to the fact that she got to do stuff i was not allowed to do or got things before i was able to [such as a cell phone] .. now, when i see my little baby cousins & my close friend lauren's little brothers - i realize that when you are younger, you have it made .. at least i know i did – my parents did everything for me, & it was so awesome lol .. to be honest, i still have it really good – but when little kids i am close to start to get older, i am going to tell them to enjoy it all while they are still young .. & just take it for what it is - & to try & not rush getting older .. there are many perks to growing up, but i just feel that although i always have a million & one things to do * sometimes it is necessary to sit back & relax - just to take a moment & realize that through all the craziness of daily activities & schedules, life is a blessing .. & if you are constantly bombarded & stressed – you may miss the times that really matter the most .. i am going to end this blog with a saying from a picture my mom has in my house: "Make time for the quiet moments, as God whispers when the world is loud" .. ciao *

Beloved Grandfather

"when it rains, it pours" - & if this is not the story of my life, i do not know what is .. late last night - my grandpa passed away =( .. he was sick for about a month, but in the past he was always a trooper, & eventually recovered the best he could .. i wish that would have happened one last time =/ - my grandpa started wheezing pretty bad one night & started getting panic-stricken to lay down & try to rest, because he could not catch his breath .. we decided that it never could hurt to play things safe, & get him checked – because when a person is of old-age & fragile, everything greatly matters .. so we took him to the hospital where the poor man had to sit in the emergency room for hours, uncomfortably - & doctors came to the conclusion that he had pneumonia, as well as a slightly collapsed lung .. he stayed in the hospital for a few days – they did a procedure on him with a tube to open up the lung that was collapsed, & although that was a big deal – he was starting to make some progress .. the deal was that he was not ready to come home yet [he lived in the side apartment of my house] & that a rehabilitation for three weeks would be the best thing for him .. although we just wanted him back home where he was happy & comfortable – my family decided that the nursing home rehabilitation would be beneficial for my grandpa .. he was easy going & did not mind having to stay there for a short amount of time, besides we visited him every day – so he would not feel alone, or like we forgot him there .. the plan was that they would do activities with him to improve his walking, for example - since he was not able to walk good lately, because of his shortness of breath, his feet became very swollen .. all of a sudden: Thursday afternoon [right after i finished my nail madness blog] my dad called me & told me that grandpa was really not doing well * i was shocked because he was just starting to do better, & everything was happening so fast .. i stayed in school, until my last class ended at four thirty & then rushed straight home to talk to my parents, who came home to meet me .. as soon as i came home, i knew things were bad – just by the look off of my parents’ & sister’s face * i quickly freshened up – my mom fed us & we headed back to the nursing home .. before i went in to see him, my sister grabbed my hand & said that he really looks terrible, & tried to prepare me * little did i know how sick he actually looked .. he was suffering – rapidly, from kidney failure & thus, was literally drowning in his own body fluids .. it was awful – i was crying before i even walked over to him * i could not believe this was happening .. in four hours he had gotten so much worse, & he was now suffering from heart failure as well – because he was panicking that he could not breath .. it kills me to even think about it – it sounded as if he was under water, because he had liquids filling up to the top of his throat & what really bothered us the most was that he was scared, because he knew he was drowning & that i am sure is such a frightening feeling .. we were all around him, crying, praying, & trying to tell him not to be afraid: that we will be there to the very end, & how much we love him .. he was not able to answer – but we knew he heard us, we took turns holding his hand – in which he was squeezing as hard as he could .. it bothers me so much that he wanted to answer - & tell us that he heard everything we were saying * but could not .. we comforted him - & he passed away, after about ten hours of being in such critical condition .. although a death in the family is such a hard thing, i have to admit i kind of feel at peace with most of it – due to the fact that he is no longer suffering or scared .. it has only been one day & i already miss him, it is definitely going to take time to realize that he is not coming home to his apartment * i know he is with me in my heart, thoughts, & prayers - & will always be a part of me .. i am really trying to be strong, but it is so very hard to with situations like these * my grandpa’s wake will be on Sunday, & his funeral mass & burial will be on Monday .. these next few days are going to be just as hard, if not harder – but i will do my best do get through them, as much as i possibly can * thankfully, my family & my boyfriend are all feeling the same way as me, so we can lean on each other .. after all, it is times like these where a family needs to come together as one -- rest in peace grandpa .. ciao *

Nail Madness

so far, this semester has been a very stressful one for me * & this greatly worries me - due to the fact that school is back in session for only four weeks .. yesterday, i had such a terrible day - & i was just mentally exhausted .. i was thinking to myself, this day - is definitely blog material lol .. my classes went okay, i like my professors & everything - it is just that i have so much to do .. i never get a break & i know that college requires a lot of time, dedication, & hard work [which is fine by me - because i have no problem working very hard] * it is just that this month so far, and last month as well, has just been really rough for me .. i feel like i have a black cloud circling my head - following me from place to place =/ .. when i tell people like my mom, she says i should be thankful that i do not have "real" problems, like other people & families do .. i understand that & i absolutely agree - but these problems, are big deals to me .. it bothers me that lately i am so overloaded & do not even know where to begin .. i was dreading getting my nails & toes done, because i do not have the time to sit there this week - & it really gets to me because for all the money i spend every other week, this should be the one time i am just relaxing .. anyway - yesterday, after my last class i went straight to the nail salon & i purposely made an appointment to try & avoid sitting there waiting .. of course my luck, they were "running late" so i waited, patiently - but started to regret coming at the time in which i did .. the best time to go is early in the day, but with my school schedule it is pretty much impossible for me to do that .. anyway, the girl that i always go to & made an appointment with was tied up - & i was asked to go to another woman .. at this point: who am i to be picky? & even if i wanted to - i do not have the time to be .. i go to a nail salon that is very upscale & expensive - i mean after all, you pay for what you get right? .. well not in my case, on this particular day * the girl that did my nails rushed like a manic - it was the fastest fill-in i ever had & she could not be bothered with anyone or anything .. she was so unfriendly, & did not do anything i asked her to do - which really was not much at all .. she hated her job & had such a bad attitude - & at first i felt bad that she was so miserable about her life, but then i realized that she was making me miserable .. for the money they charge - she should not have been acting like this & it really was not right * however, i put up with it until i could not take anymore .. i always have "permanent french" on my nails - but i decided to get something different done [now i realize, this was a very big mistake] .. she literally redid my nails three times - because she kept messing them up * never in my life have i heard or experienced such a thing .. it was so bad that i was embarrassed by the way she acted, & i am not exactly a pushover either * my blood started boiling .. then, to show me she was mad she nastily took the polish off of one whole hand * i did not ask her to do that - & i was fuming that she did, because all that was messed up was one nail on that hand .. she did not ask me anything, cut them the length she wanted to & did whatever she pleased .. it got really bad when she dropped my hand down roughly on purpose, & two nails smudged together - i did not want to flip out but i was biting my tongue not to .. i choose to get a light white basecoat & a black line as my french [instead of white], which was such a bad idea * because she went so fast painting them that the black smeared all over the white .. she told me that they were fine, multi-colored mind you * which was it for me .. i let her have it [in a respectful & mature manner] & told her that they were not fine & that i wanted her to fix them, because if she was not rushing to get done the way she was from the very beginning, none of this would have happened .. after the third time of her messing up - huffing & puffing about it, i told her i wanted someone else to do the hand she did not do .. thankfully - another girl did it to match the other hand, but it was just a really terrible situation .. i just wanted to get out of there & be done with it - but i had already paid for my pedicure * & the girls they have doing them are really sweet .. so i decided to go through with it - however, i was in there for ten minutes short of three hours .. could you imagine? - i was so mad that i could have cried about it * because i was so frustrated & annoyed .. while driving home: i was thinking about how much i was not looking forward to going home to eat dinner, shower, & do as much work as i could for the night .. what i would have done to just take a shower & go to sleep for the night, i could not even begin to tell you .. i know that it might not seem like a big deal to some of you, but my patience was non-existent at the end of the night * & i just felt so crappy .. i am annoyed that i can not go back there - because even though the rest of the girls there do a great job, she is now there & i never want to see her again [she should consider herself lucky lol] .. i am feeling better today, still have a lot of work to do * but i am in a much better mood .. this is because at least today, i do not have to deal with aggraviation from incompetent people, such as the lovely lady i encountered yesterday .. well, i am glad i have this blog to vent to - but i must be going now, because i have my education class starting in ten minutes .. ciao *

Lazy Saturday

today, today i am not getting anything accomplished =/ .. i am so not in the mood to do any schoolwork, or clean my room up - & i really should have been doing things all day because tomorrow morning my boyfriend has a basketball game * & then we have plans to go to our friend's house for a superbowl party =) .. i mean i will do some things in a few, but i know i will not get much done - because i just can not get started today .. it definitely is just a lazy saturday for me - now i am thinking how much i actually have to do, lovely .. & i really want to see the movie "The Bucket List" - last weekend my boyfriend & i saw "27 Dresses" [which was so good - i loved it] * but anyway: i wish i did not always have so much to do .. it stinks because all week i am bombarded with schoolwork from all my classes, & when the weekend finally rolls around - i wish i could just put schoolwork aside & just worry about going out & having a good time .. but as you get older - there becomes more stuff to get done, in shorter amounts of time * & you just have to do it - & get it done .. once i start my homework - for example, i do a really good job & i try hard * but to get myself started on doing it - is another story .. i hate that i forever wait until sunday night to get started on my work, because although i work good under pressure it is no good to start the week off like that [stressed, staying up all night to get everything done] .. well writing this blog has made me realize that i should go get some things accomplished - instead of putting them off & worrying about them tomorrow .. i really hope the giants win tomorrow - that would be awesome if a new york team wins the superbowl =) * but i guess we will just have to wait & see - while keeping our fingers crossed .. ciao *

My Favorite Christmas Present

for Christmas this year my boyfriend surprised me with a puppy, & she is the cutest little thing - ever .. her name is frankie =) & the reason why i choose her to have that name is because i think it is really cute when little girls have boy names [besides, she is a major tomboy anyway lol] .. she is a two pound bundle of joy, that we have for a little over a month now .. she is really small & will stay small, which is indeed a plus in my book .. she is just precious & i really grew to love her from the first second i saw her .. now that i think back to last month, i realize even more how nice it was being off with her all day .. however, she had me getting up pretty early - because i am in the process of training her & she is even learning how to wake me up when she has to go outside [when she does not wake me up - i have to make sure i get up to let her go] .. frankie is really smart, but she is only four months old - so since she is just a baby it is going to take her some time to learn everything she has to .. she is really adorable, but is a ton of work - & now that i am back in college, it gets even harder .. i have to wake up earlier on schooldays - because i have to feed her, let her outside, as well as play a little before i leave for school .. i have another dog who is a yorkie, & her name is allie [she is eight years old] .. they are both finally learning how to behave together, which is a major plus .. when my boyfriend first gave her to me - my other dog was just not having it .. i felt really bad because i did not want allie to think we replaced her with frankie - but thankfully, she is finally getting used to the little one being around .. frankie is definitely worth the work & is my favorite Christmas present that i ever received .. due to the fact that she keeps me quite busy, i will keep my blog updated on what is new with her as time goes on .. ciao *

My Very First Blog

hello - my name is alyssa & this will be my online journal =) .. although i am very new to this whole "blog" website, i believe it will be very cool to write in & maintain throughout the spring 08 semester .. as one can see - my blog name is "A Fine Mess", which sarcastically describes myself; as well as my insanely busy - yet, fun filled life .. right now, i have many things to do for my classes & i am really tired so i am going to finish setting this up & then get cracking on my endless amounts of reading .. ciao *